My First Mother's Day

What an incredibly special mother's day this was...my FIRST Mother's Day as a mom!!!

Haha...he looks so happy, huh? Check out those FEET!!

 For me, there is no greater calling than being a wife and mother and I truly LOVE my role as both (yes, already!). People tell you having a child will change your life, but no one can prepare you for the amount of love that fills your heart when you meet your little one for the first time. And you fall more and more in love with each passing day, even when you think you can't love them any more than you do right now. It's pretty indescribable and something no one can prepare you for.

Mother's Day was our first full day at home as a family. Baby Jase & Daddy got me the sweetest card, and of course I cried as they read it aloud to me. (Post-pregnancy hormones are WAY more serious than pregnancy hormones!) So sweet! It even had his little footprints in it. (This kid has some GIANT feet!! He's already rockin' 6-12 mos socks!!)

My favorite part of Mother's Day was Jonathan telling me how natural I am as a mom and how I act like Jase has always been with us. He has been super encouraging and said that he knew I'd be a great mom, but that I'm exceeding his expectations already. He said it's probably because my mom is so great and I've always had such a good example. And man, did he hit the nail on the head.

My mom is the ROCK of our family, and particularly in my world. Growing up I remember many of my friends being "best friends" with their mom. Well, it was NOT like that for me. I was jealous at the time & wished we got along like that. She was super overprotective and disciplined me when I did wrong. Everyone told me we'd be "friends" when I was older, and I had no idea how true that was. Looking back, I am SO THANKFUL she wasn't my "friend"...and didn't care about that. She took her job as my mom very seriously, and more than anything always made me feel SOOO loved and so very special. There was not a day that went by that I didn't feel like I was the most loved and special kid on the whole planet.

 She is one of the strongest, wisest, most talented women I know, and if I can be half the mom she was to me, Jase will be one blessed little fella. She has truly been above and beyond helpful (helpful isn't even the word- I couldn't have made it without her!) this entire pregnancy and since Jon has had to go back to work. She loves my sweet baby and I can tell he already loves her so much. It's so sweet that he recognizes her voice and smiles at her.  She has that natural, motherly instinct and he will calm right down for her if his mommy is taking too long to her ready for him to eat. (It took a while when I was engorged- YOUCH!! No worries, posts to come on all of this fun!)

Mom with me on the left; Mom with baby Jase 27 years later. (P.S. Can you tell who he looks like?? Seriously, he's almost identical to me as a baby!)

 
This Mother's Day, I am so thankful for my incredible Mama & for the Lord blessing me with the gift of being a mother. I am so excited about this journey of motherhood....

Butler, Party of 3....Baby Jase is HERE!!!

And the moment we have all been waiting the last 40 weeks for....

Baby Jase is HERE!!!! 

Big boy was 8 lbs, 5 oz....20 3/4 inches long.

He is SO healthy & strong....and the sweetest, most precious, most beautiful soul I have ever laid eyes on!! (All the nurses agreed...)

Praise the Lord for this sweet, sweet blessing!!

Thank you all for the prayers!! We are absolutely in LOVE....and completely exhausted. Ha! Our incredible birth story coming soon!

Thankful to officially be Butler, Party of 3!!

"For this child I have prayed, and the Lord granted me what I asked of him." -1 Samuel 1:27

"Every good and perfect gift is from above." -James 1:17

Baby Butler is 40 Weeks! All about week 39...and my update!

I am SO sad about my week 34 & week 37 updates....both were written over (totally my fault though) and I have no way of getting them back.  Boo!! One of the big reasons I write the weekly updates is because I love to look back through and read about this incredible journey, but I know it'll also be helpful as a 'reference' for me so I can "check my notes" in future pregnancies and see what was going on each week. Of course they'll be different, but it's neat to compare to see those similarities and differences. I'm bummed this pregnancy brain means I can't remember enough from those weeks to rewrite them, but at least I have all of the other ones, right? Gotta think positive!

I am 40 weeks TODAY- May 7th-  so I have officially made it to my due date! I NEVER would have thought I would make it this far (I don't know why- I just had a feeling he would come before now), but thankfully I still feel good and he is still healthy. It's crazy to think I am now "10 months" pregnant & have been pregnant for over 300 days! (Ha, Laura is my "countdown" friend & pointed that out...isn't it crazy to think about it like that?)

Baby Growth:  Jase is about the size of a small pumpkin. Actually, he might be considered more of a medium pumpkin! We had an ultrasound on Monday, and although they said it is not typically this accurate this late in the game, he is in the 90th percentile. They are thinking probably around 8 lbs, 14 oz. Guess we'll see! Good thing God MADE this baby exactly for my body, & I'm not really nervous about the size at all. May be singing a different tune during the pushing phase, but like I said, God MADE my body to do this!!! How can I NOT have confidence?!?!

My Symptoms: I was about the same at my last three appointments (weeks 36-39)...1-2 cm, 60-70%, cervix looks favorable. I left a little discouraged after my Monday appointment because we started talking about induction (they have to talk about it, even though I do NOT want that) & I cried a good bit when I got home playing the "what if" game & thinking about all the possibilities. One of the big reasons I would prefer not to be induced unless medically necessary is because that increases chances of other interventions. Jonathan was super encouraging and reassuring though, & after LOTS his reassurance and LOTS of praying, I had a serious come-to-Jesus meeting. Now I felt/feel MUCH better. This is ALL about God's timing...and I truly trust in that. Of course that's easier said than done, but God has ALWAYS, ALWAYS been right on time & I know this is no different. I know the Lord is putting some finishing touches on Jase and I will have that sweet baby in my arms before I know it!

The stretch marks are here!! Not very deep, but they are definitely here. Like I've said, they don't bother me at all. It's sorta like scars...I don't think of scars as being unattractive in any way. They are just there, they are natural, and they all tell a story.

I also haven't had as much of an appetite. I'm still eating plenty because I want to keep my body fueled, but I do not feel hungry at all.

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Weight/Belly: I was +28 lbs total at my appointment today. My belly is...well, check it out!

Maternity Clothes:  Wednesday was my last day of work. I am so thankful for sweet co-workers who made it very special for me!!

However, I am REALLY enjoying living in workout clothes now!! Many of Jonathan's t-shirts are getting too short though, so I have to scrounge to find tees that work. Belly shirts + 40 weeks = going to ruin somebody's appetite.

Movement: Still been moving quite a bit. This morning (Tuesday) I felt a lull in the movement so went in for some monitoring. He was not as active in the beginning, but woke back up & started being his wild man self again towards the end of the monitoring. 

Sleep: I have not been sleeping so hot. They recommended either some Sleepy Time tea or a Tylenol PM (I got some of the tea today), & really encouraged me to get some good rest. They said if my body is too tired I won't go into labor the way I should....So, RESTING up!!

Workouts: I walked a good bit last week...2-3 miles a few times & did an upper body workout. As of Monday I was "cut off" so I can rest more. If I'm not in full out labor by tomorrow I'll probably go on another walk.

Cravings: No cravings, but have been enjoying some pineapple. 

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Goals for the Next Week: Well, I think just popping this baby out is a pretty solid goal!!!

Baby Jase- We are SO excited to meet you and be your mommy and daddy!! We are so thankful every day the Lord is giving you to us and we can't wait to see your sweet face. We have prayed, prayed, prayed over every hair on your head and are beyond excited that we get to finally have you in our arms so soon!!! We love you so much already and the sweet blessing you already are...see you soon, sweet thing!!!

Baby Butler is 38 Weeks!!

Baby Growth: They compared his length to a leek this week, but he is closer to the size of a watermelon. His organs have matured and he is ready for life outside the womb!

My Symptoms: On Tuesday (4/23), I was 1 cm and 60%.  At Monday’s appointment (4/29) I was 2 cm & 70%. Progress!! I know, it really means nothing till you’re 10 cm & 100%. And it doesn’t really get my hopes up because I know he’ll come when he’s ready anyway. I have heard all kinds of stories- from people who walked around for weeks at a 3-4, to people like Laura who went from a 1 and 50% to giving birth the next day! It’s very exciting knowing he can come ANY TIME & I love that element of surprise!!! As if meeting your sweet baby for the first time isn’t enough!) Our awesome midwife (I seriously cannot rave about them enough- they are both such an answered prayer & I will be thrilled with either one delivering our little man) said she could feel Baby Jase’s head, so he is low. They also said my body is progressing well for a first time mom.

My tummy is getting majorly itchy now, but I’m still using coconut oil & the other oils I have. I put some vitamin E on this morning too and that seemed to help some with the itching. Those “blood vessels” from a few weeks ago (only on the left side of my tummy, under my belly button) look more like stretch marks now, but aren’t deep. Stretch marks are something that you are either going to get or not, depending on your skin type, & there isn’t a whole lot you can do to prevent them. However, it is still important to keep your belly moisturized and lubricated. Try to avoid scented lotions or lotions with lots of chemicals if possible.

I want to cry every 5 seconds- sometimes for no reason at all. Helllllo, hormones!!!

Oh, & I had some colostrum come out, so of course I had to show Jonathan!! He wasn’t as impressed as I was. Ha! I’m excited my body is getting ready to nurse. I have been reading a LOT about breastfeeding lately because it is something I am extremely passionate about (& I know can be very difficult and challenging, so I am doing my best to educate myself now to help as much as possible). Even if you can just nurse in that first hour, that is HUGE!!! Every drop is so beneficial & can have tremendous benefits for your little one.

I know I mentioned last week that I am feeling slightly anti-social, & that hasn’t changed much. I hope no one thinks I am being rude, because it is not intentional- I’m just not up for it. I don’t have much of a desire to text, talk on the phone, e-mail. get on FB, blog or read blogs, make plans, etc. (I know this sounds so terrible, but I’m just being honest.) I am still doing those things; just not enjoying them as I normally do, nor spending as much time doing them as I normally do. (Blog post coming soon on that- the Lord has been dealing with me about my “technology addictions.” I actually have several blog posts in my head and planned to write but haven’t quite gotten around to it yet. Hopefully soon!) However, I do still truly APPRECIATE every comment, text, phone call, e-mail, thought, & prayer. Really, just a small two seconds means so much!! I have had my feelings hurt a few times by “friends” who have not even CHECKED on me one time this whole pregnancy. I guess ya learn who your real friends are…it has definitely been interesting! If someone doesn’t reach out to you for 10 months straight, you’re probably not really friends. And that kinda makes me sad. But at the same time, I have become closer to a few people & I feel like God has placed this people in my life “for such a time as this.” It has also made me even more grateful for my true friends and my precious family…and appreciate them on a whole new level!! I think that is important & part of something I have learned during this pregnancy. So thank you to all of you who have been so encouraging, loving, supportive, & thoughtful!!! It was also a good lesson for me to remember. Sometimes an encouraging word, a card, even a FB comment or text to let someone know they are on your mind can go such a long way…and being thoughtful is a trait I definitely want to have.

Weight/Belly: I was up 29 lbs at my 39 week appointment. Sure feels like more- this belly is heavy!!

Maternity Clothes:  Wednesday is my last day of work & I am BEYOND pumped to start wearing workout clothes full-time till lil man gets here! They are SO MUCH more comfortable!!! Even Jonathan’s shirts are getting a little short though, so I have to really scrounge through his closet to find t-shirts that will actually fit over this belly!

I would wear more dresses, but carrying an extra 30 lbs makes me even more conscious of the types of shoes I wear.  Most of my sandals/flip flops do NOT have good support, so I try to wear either Sperries or tennis shoes every day, which means I am still wearing mostly pants. My legs are READY for some sunshine!! I can’t wait to take this sweet baby on walks in our neighborhood. Last night as I was walking with Jonathan I was noticing that it is so peaceful in our area & there are some seriously gorgeous views where we live. We are blessed!!

Movement: Still feeling consistent movement! He is running out of room for sure (I feel like I’ve been saying that for months), but he for real is now. Last night he was practicing riding a bicycle/pedaling on the right side of my belly. He’s going to be a natural!

Sleep: Two times this past week I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep for a few hours. Sleep is getting a little tougher…& it wakes Jonathan up every time I move or get out of bed to potty. He always asks if I’m okay when he hears me fumbling around. And I also kicked the pregnancy pillow to the curb for two body pillows. I am over that thing.

Workouts: Mostly just walking, but a few squats and weights thrown in the mix. I am really looking forward to some intense workouts after I recover!! I miss being strong & pushing my body in that way. The great news is that my FAVORITE types of workouts are all body weight exercises I can do at home while lil man is napping, and of course I plan to go on lots of walks/jogs. I am PUMPED about our yard sale jogging stroller find!! (Even though I KNOW it is something I will use, I did NOT want to pay full price for those beasts!) I walked up and down my driveway 12 times last night after our walk. Have you SEEN our driveway?? I thought I’d be sore today but I’m not.

Cravings: Cereal!! I must need more folate…I have been eating at least two bowls every day. I have also been wanting carbs…having a tough time with meat again, but doing my best to still get in plenty of protein. (This is reminding me of the beginning of pregnancy!)  I’m also eating lots of Greek yogurt and have bought frozen waffles (Kashi & some other organic Chia kind) the last two times I’ve been to the grocery store. Normally waffles & cereal are NOT on my list. Oh, and FRUIT!! I feel like all I am eating is cereal, Greek yogurt, and fruit!

Best Pregnancy Moments This Week: Jonathan did some research early on & decided I needed a water purifier at school (I drink at least 100 oz while at work), so he bought me one of those water purifying pitchers at the beginning of the year. I have been joking with our custodian that if he gets called to Mrs. Butler’s room with a mop he’ll know it’s baby time. Today while I was filling up my water bottle, I spilled the WHOLE pitcher on the floor in the workroom. My shoes and the bottom of my pants were soaked! It was pretty funny to have to call him in for a ‘water spill from Mrs. Butler!’

I have also really enjoyed “group texts” with Larissa & Melissa!! It has been very neat to get to experience this so closely with them & be able to compare notes and share our experiences.

Jonathan & I enjoyed a really lazy weekend together. It was super YUCKKKKKY outside….perfect for lots of napping, cleaning the house (mostly Jonathan- have I mentioned lately that I have the BEST hubby ever?!?!), dinner with both of our parents, long baths, & snuggling while watching movies. It was a perfect weekend for this almost 10 months pregnant chick.

Thoughts: I was reading a little about foods to eat and foods to avoid while breastfeeding & started to get a little nervous. Many of the foods it suggested to avoid are the fruits (like oranges) and veggies (roughage/cucumbers/broccoli) that I eat daily. Hopefully Jase has adapted to them while in the womb, or it may be interesting to try to figure out what to eat after he arrives.

My prayers this week have been focused very specifically on our midwives & nurses, labor & delivery, Jonathan as he coaches me through, & for breastfeeding. I have been praying for these things daily throughout my pregnancy, but I have really been very specific this week.

Goals for the Next Week: I am done with all of the things I need to be done with for Mr. Jase. After tomorrow, I will be done with work & completely caught up with everything there. I paid all of our bills, finished my birth plan & all important lists & info for Jonathan (insurance, maternity leave stuff, etc.). All of our bags are packed and loaded in the truck with the car seat. I have finished thank you cards & have goody bags ready for the nurses and our midwife.  My goals for the next few weeks are: 1)to make a few freezer meals 2) to read more of BabyWise & Womanly Art of Breastfeeding 3) Keep practicing relaxation techniques 4) find someone to DUST some of the places I can’t get to 5) one more trip to Costco to stock up for Jonathan 6) REST lots!!

Baby Butler is 36 Weeks!!

9 MONTHS!!!! Woo hoo!! This is the home stretch, friends!  It is so weird/fun to say “I am 9 months pregnant!” Something about 9 months sounds SO different than any of the rest in my mind. {Probably because before my friends started having babies, I thought you were only pregnant for 9 months…}

Baby Growth: Jase is in the 65th percentile at 6 lbs &12 oz!! My AWESOME midwife felt around on my tummy & said if she had to guess, she would say 6 lbs, 12 oz.  You can pretty much feel the entire outline of his body & what is where- I can feel his little booty, his feet, etc., & his head pressing down SUPER low in my pelvic region.  We had an ultrasound right after that, & based on all of his measurements, she was EXACTLY right!! Ha! Is she good or what?!?

We love the ultrasound tech too- she is fantastic! She said Jase has a “good sized head”…& I’m not sure if she was joking with Jon (because when we were looking at his head Jon said “I can tell he’s smart like his Daddy”) or if she was for real.  I’m guessing the latter. I know Jonathan had a pretty big head when he was born, so it’s time to get serious about some perineal massage! Ha!! Maybe Jase will take after me though…I have a little head. I remember growing up that I could rarely find hats or sunglasses to fit me (my body always seemed so much bigger than my head), & I would imagine Jon had the same issue on the opposite end of that spectrum! (Ha! LOVE you babe!) But….thankfully we have both “grown into” our head sizes.

My Symptoms: I feel GREAT this week! MUCH better than last week. I did have a day or two when I was VERY irritable & EVERYONE was getting on my last nerve…(poor Jon!)…but now I feel back to normal. I haven’t had as many Braxton Hicks this week, but the pressure is picking up- especially when I walk.

At my appointment I was around 1 cm & 50%. I know that doesn’t mean much, so nothing to get excited about. (Some women walk around for WEEKS at a 3, & other women can be NOTHING & go into labor the next day- so I’m not banking much on any of that.) Right now I am focused on getting everything finished, praying LOTS, & listening to my body as it is getting closer.

We have learned in our classes that most first time moms who are NOT induced deliver at 41 weeks and 1 day….and many moms who are very active during pregnancy deliver around 39 weeks. I could care less as long as he is fully developed and healthy. I still feel good, so no rush. He can just keep on cookin’!

Oh, and the stretch marks have come. They may have been there, but we don’t have a full length mirror and I can’t see the bottom of my belly so I just now noticed them at the gym. They’re small and pretty light, & Catalyst helps firm skin, so I’m sure it will be fine after. And honestly, I don’t really care. I am just thankful I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to carry this sweet little guy and be his Mama. I know God made my body so I can have babies, and if that includes stretch marks, that’s okay with me! (It is so neat to see how I have changed over the past few years. When I was a little younger- early 20’s- I was pretty dang vain and overly concerned with my appearance.  In the past few years though, and in growing in my walk, the Lord has taught me that what is on the outside is NOT what matters! I take care of my body so I can be healthy & attractive to Jonathan, but it definitely does not take a priority in my life the way it used to. It feels so good to have that release.)

Weight/Belly: I was the same weight at my appointment this week as the week before, so still right around +25 lbs total from pre-pregnancy weight (which was the first appointment where I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant). For the majority of my pregnancy people have commented on how BIG my belly is & how it started poking out so quickly- lots of “Are you SURE it’s not TWINS?” or “Man, he’s going to be HUGE!” or even “Are you sure you’re not due ANY day now? You look like you’re about to pop!” (when I was like 4-5 months!) Other than sweet blog comments (thank you, I love you guys!), no one ever really said “Wow, you look great!” up until very recently.  People are starting to say that I am all belly & that I look cute.  I definitely appreciate the compliments!!  I was starting to get a complex!

The belly is certainly a conversation starter too. It doesn’t matter where I am, EVERYONE wants to talk to me about the pregnancy- even strangers. I love it! (Most of the time- minus those couple days when I was super grumpy.)

I am still working out regularly. I lift weights 2-3 times a week & walk 4-5 times. I try to do as many planks as possible to keep my core strong- I have a feeling that will come in handy those last couple hours of pushing. (I have no pictures this week expect these dumb ones I took myself to send to Jon- wanted to show him I still have the guns “armed & loaded!" Ha. I’m such a loser.)

Maternity Clothes:  are SO overrated. I can think of WAY better ways to spend our money than on clothes- period! I just wear whatever is comfy. Jeans are NOT comfortable right now, & shorts/skirts are a little scary with these white legs. (I’m talkin’ WHIIIIIIIITE! I was outside 15 min one day last week at car rider duty and got sunburnt.) I would wear more dresses, but dresses require sandals (and thus a pedicure) & that I shave my legs. It’s serious business trying to paint my toenails & I’m trying to hold off on the pedicure till I’m a little closer to due date because ya know they say to get a pedicure if you’re close & want to go into labor! (not sure that all these crazy things are true- but I don’t wanna risk it! Jase’s lungs need to keep developing a little longer first!)

Movement: I thought he had slowed down some, but I was wrong. He is still a wild man. Can someone please tell me if there is any truth to the whole “how they act in the womb is how active they will be when they come out” deal?? I have a feeling I am in for a TREAT if there is any truth to that. I feel like this boy never sleeps!! Maybe it’s because he is pressed right up to the front part of my tummy that I can feel his movements so intensely? And if I am on my back for any reason, you can see him straight rolling around like crazy & kicking out over here on my far right side. It’s the CRAZIEST thing!!! Jon has seen it several times now, & I’m glad he’s been able to see it even though it freaks him out a little. I love when I can grab his little foot- he’s probably like “What are you doing, Mom?”

Sleep: Jonathan’s sinuses have been acting up, which means he’s been snoring. He never snores, so that’s been a fun new treat. I’ve had a pretty tough time getting comfy too, but have been waking up a little easier. I feel like I’m resting more being back at work than I did over Spring Break (because I was running around like crazy over SB trying to get everything done- and at work I sit on my ab ball for the majority of the day) so that has helped….but I still need naps sometimes when I get home. (I don’t get home till about 4:30.)

Cravings: I bought ice cream for the first time this week. NOT a good idea. After dominating it a few nights in a row (I was justifying it because it has protein! Ha!), I threw it out & decided not to buy any more. Still just craving sweets & sugar. And pizza when I smell it…but we haven’t eaten any because I’ve been cooking every night.

Best Pregnancy Moments This Week: Loved the doctor’s appointment! His heartbeat was 155, & we were also tested for Strep B at this week’s appointment (I didn’t love that part, but wanted to remind myself). Loved his sweet little ultrasound too. That boy will NOT move his hands away from his face so we can see his little profile though. He’s had his hands in front of his face at EVERY ultrasound so far!! My blood pressure was 115 over 71, which while still in the “normal” range is pretty high for me. I am normally  around 92 over 58-62.

Here is our little man- hiding his face. I can barely tell what anything is anyways.

Loved celebrating the twins’ birthday!

And Brian’s birthday dinner with friends!

This weekend felt like SUMMER! It was gorgeous outside, & we stayed up late Friday night watching a Redbox (Argo). We slept in Saturday morning (till 8:40, if that counts as sleeping in) & enjoyed a morning together at home & sharing Advocare with others. It made me sad to go back to work!!

Thoughts: We are almost all the way ready! We are putting finishing touches on the birth plan & nursery, & the car seat and hospital bags are in the truck ready to go! Just a few little things left to do (like thank you cards! SHEESH! I am NEVER this bad about getting things like that done!) & we will be all the way ready!

Lots of people are asking if I’m nervous.  Honestly, I’m not. And Jon isn’t either. (Normally he’s my worrier too.) I think praying has eliminated the fear for us and now we are just excited. I know that WHATEVER happens during labor & delivery and afterwards is exactly what the Lord intended. We have expressed to both God (what a cool God that He WANTS to hear the desires of our heart) & to our doctors & midwives what an ideal delivery day would look like for us, and now we just turn it all over to HIM. Ultimately, we want His will to be done- not ours. We totally trust that God is leading every step of the way and that He will have his hand in whatever happens. And Jonathan has been praying for both me & Baby Jase DAILY since the get go. We have prayed for every single nurse, doctor, etc. that we will come into contact with even though we don’t know them yet. How can you NOT feel confident when you have the power of the LORD on your side?

Can’t WAIT to meet you, Baby Jase!!!

Boston.

My heart is aching today. There is so much hate and evil in our world.

I do not watch the news at all or listen to the radio much, so I typically find out about things like this through social media. Like many of you, it makes me sick to my stomach to hear about these types of tragedies.

Every tragedy breaks my heart for the families who are impacted- especially thinking about bringing precious children into this world. Watching them grow up in these times…thinking about how I will explain things like this when they are old enough to know what is going on…it’s just scary. But I will say, nothing really surprises me anymore. As disgusting and horrific as it is, I am sad to say that I am not shocked. We live in a world that desperately needs Jesus.

Running a marathon is one of the coolest experiences of my life. SO MUCH preparation, hard work, determination, & dedication went into the training.

For me, running a marathon was SO MUCH MORE than a 26.2 mile race. It taught me a lot….and after running one, it really made me believe I can truly do ANYTHING. I think that’s part of why I feel so confident about natural childbirth. Of course it’s very different, but both of them are more of a mental & spiritual thing than a physical one in my opinion. Running a marathon showed me how mentally tough I can be, and allowed me to truly rely on God to help me through something because it was so much bigger than me.  It was THE COOLEST moment crossing that finish line and seeing Jonathan there to cheer me on and give me a hug. He was so proud of me. And it was such a moment of personal triumph in my life. For a moment that should be so exciting and joyful to turn into such tragedy & fear…

Putting myself back in that moment, it just makes me sick to think about Boston…

I’m honestly at a loss for words, & almost didn’t write anything about it. But my heart aches for the running community, for the city, for the families, for the individuals, & for our nation, so I wanted to write something.

Praying for those who were injured; for those who lost their life; and for the family members who are mourning.

Praying for our nation.

Praying that I have a heart to boldly share the Gospel with others.

And praying that I show all of my loved ones DAILY how much I love them and am thankful for them.